It's time for bye-byes
by Lilys Eyes
Summary: Columbia can't sleep, so Frank tells her a bedtime story. Hope I didn't make Frank too sweet and cuddly.


Annoyed Columbia punched her pillow, it seemed lumpy, hot and uncomfortable tonight. _You`re only imagining that_, she told herself, her pillow was nice and fluffy and she would sleep now, so she`d be well rested when Eddie came to pick her up early tomorrow morning for that little weekend trip they`d been planning for so long. Ohmygod, they`d be spending a whole, undisturbed weekend together!

The more she told herself not to think about it, the more she thought about it and the less she could sleep. Oh, this was useless, she`d never fall asleep like this. Columbia huffed a frustrated sigh into her pillow and got up, there were still a couple of Valium in her Sesame Street cookie jar, if she remembered correctly. Taking the lid off, Columbia felt around inside the jar, peeped inside and even up ended it, but her pills were gone.

"But I didn`t…or did I?" she wondered out loud, she wasn`t really certain anymore, she _might _have taken them or, as she`d suspected for quite some time, Magenta actually _did_ pinch other people`s…medication for her odd brother. Grumbling softly to herself, Columbia returned the jar to its spot on the shelf and put on her silken robe, maybe Magenta was still up, she often worked until very late. Columbia slipped into her black mules and tip-toed over to the domestic`s room, putting her ear against its door. The TV was still tinnily blaring in Magenta`s room, so Columbia softly opened the door and peeped inside. Magenta was sprawled on the couch, an empty wine bottle on the floor beside her, her arms and legs twitching almost in time with the screeching of wheels and booms of explosions emanating from the TV`s speakers, a small, angry smile on her lips.

Apparently Magenta had one of her fighting dreams again, she often fought like an intoxicated sailor in her sleep, she`d better not wake her, Columbia decided, slowly closing the door again. Oh well, it would have been too good to be true, now she`d have to trudge all the way to the lab to look for her chemical ticket to dreamland.

She could hear Riff Raff, still puttering about in the kitchen below, as she pushed the elevator`s `up` button. Asking him would be pointless, he never had nothing to spare. Soft light greeted her in the laboratory, apparently Frank was putting in another night shift, Columbia looked around but was unable to find him anywhere, only a few shuffling and clanking noises could be heard emanating from somewhere in the depths of the lab.

Shrugging Columbia opened one of the metal cupboards that lined the walls in this part of the lab. Its white doors revealed a veritable pick-n-mix of colourful pills and capsules, gosh, she was probably looking at tens of thousands of dollars in prescription drugs. Fascinated, Columbia rose on her tip- toes and turned several of the jars around in hope of finding labels, but apparently Frank didn`t need labels to know what the jars contained…or he enjoyed medical emergencies. Oh well, the pills in the jar in the middle of the top shelf _seemed_ to be the right shape and colour, she`d just have to take her chances.

Holding on to the bottom shelf with one hand, Columbia tried to reach for the jar, why oh why did she have to be so goddamn short?

"Stealing candy? Why Columbia, that`s not very polite, is it," a mocking voice suddenly rang out behind her.

Columbia jumped and almost fell on her backside, Frank stood in the door, or rather _a _door, well hidden as they were behind the pink tiles, she still wasn`t sure just how many there actually were, a glass of some bubbly, purple substance in his hand and a crooked smile on his face.

"Why, Frankie, sneaking up on people isn`t very polite either, " she said somewhat defiantly, pointlessly trying to hide her surprise.

"I shall sneak, walk, stagger, run or crawl in _my_ lab as much as it pleases me, " Frank retorted haughtily," what are you doing here anyway, hm?"

Columbia released a long breath, "I was just looking for something to help me sleep… and I`ve run out of Valium."

"Aw, worries keeping you awake? Poor ickle dear, " Frank purred and Columbia couldn`t tell if he was taunting her or not, " well, why didn`t you just _ask_ me?"

Columbia hadn`t expected _that,_ considering that she had indeed just been about to nick something from his precious lab, Frank seemed awfully relaxed.

"Um, I didn`t want to disturb you," she replied lamely.

"Oh honey, I`d _love_ to see you do something that might disturb _me_," Frank said, chuckling into his glass before taking a sip and ambling over to Columbia.

"Here, let Uncle Frankie catch naughty Mr. Sandman for you," he said patronizingly, grabbing a jar containing pink, round pills.

"Now open wide, " he instructed, taking two pills from the jar, Columbia did as she was told and Frank popped the pills into her mouth. " Now a big sip," Frank offered Columbia his drink," good girl."

"What`s that?" Columbia enquired surprised after having swallowed the pills without too much difficulty, the liquid had tasted unlike anything she`d ever tasted before, a bit like a mixture of lychees, cream and alcohol.

"Froofberry wine," Frank replied, as if that should have been obvious to Columbia.

" `s nice," Columbia said, licking her lips and offering Frank his glass again.

"Oh, you just drink it all, " Frank grinned," you see, we have cause for celebration."

"We do?" Columbia asked, quite happily sipping on the froofberry wine.

"Oh yes," Frank wrapped his arms around his torso, as if hugging himself in congratulation," because tonight, I, Dr. Frank – N- Furter, have discovered the final piece of the puzzle, the last yellow brick in the road, the secret of the creation …of life," he finished grandly, opening his arms.

"So, does that actually mean…?" Columbia began carefully, not wanting to jump to conclusions.

"It means…well, I guess you could say it means, I`m going to have _a baby_!" Frank cried exhilarated.

"Well, congratulations then, " Columbia said somewhat less enthusiastically, not at all sure how she felt about these news, but Frank didn`t seem to notice.

"Thank you, " he said graciously, inclining his head a little, "and now, because I feel extremely…," he folded his hands over his heart, " _maternal _tonight, I shall put you to bed, tuck you in and even tell you a bedtime story."

"Oh, sweet! " Columbia, squeaked, honestly surprised, all thoughts of Eddie gone from her mind.

Grinning, Frank extended his arms.

"You`re going to carry me?" Columbia asked, her painted eyebrows rising even higher.

"Well, we want to do this in style, don`t we," Frank replied.

"We sure do. "

With a tiny, happy squeal, Columbia hopped into Frank`s waiting arms. They`d spent so little time together lately, with him being busy in his lab day and night and although Eddie was nice, really nice actually, someone she maybe even could fall in love with if she wanted to, there was something about Frank that never failed to take her breath away, she gleefully remembered how she had screamed herself hoarse with pleasure during their first night together.

Frank kissed her cheek and neck and even sang `Hush a bye baby, ` somehow managing to make it sound not at all innocent, as he carried her to her room. Lowering her quite gently on her bed, he, as he`d said, carefully tucked the covers in around her and lay down beside her.

"There, snug as a bug," Frank purred and Columbia grinned up at him, feeling as happy as a clam.

"Now, close your eyes and listen to Uncle Frankie`s wondrous tale, " he continued, " I`ll even rub your…shoulder."

Columbia adored having her shoulder rubbed when she fell asleep, although it unfortunately was a rare treat, Frank usually had no time, or at least claimed he had no time and Magenta just couldn´t be bothered. Quite unfair, Columbia thought, as she knew Magenta had spent entire nights just cooling and kissing her brother`s bruised back.

Closing her eyes, Columbia curled up into a tiny ball beneath her covers, letting Frank wrap himself around her like a warm, breathing cocoon. Gosh, she had completely forgotten how nice simply cuddling could be.

"Once upon a time, on a far away planet, " Frank began, his velvety voice rumbling pleasantly against her back, " a young, very handsome, very_, very_ sexy prince lived…"

"Gee, I wonder what his name might have been," Columbia interjected cheekily.

"Quiet, you, " Frank nipped her earlobe, " it`s completely unimportant what his name was, anyway, this prince lived in a vast, towering castle full of people whose only purpose it was to serve him and keep him happy in every way possible, and in which everything happened according to his wishes.

"Nice," Columbia mumbled, already getting quite sleepy.

"You could say that, he ate only the finest foods, wore the most exquisite clothes and legions of young men, women and everyone in between were dying to sacrifice their bodies at the altar of his desire, " Frank chuckled darkly," I guess you could say, he couldn`t have asked for more and…he didn`t, he was as happy and content as only someone who`d never in his life heard the word `no` could be, that lucky, ignorant bastard." Columbia felt Frank draw a deep breath against her back.

"Well, now one fine day, as the prince was taking a stroll through his lava gardens, he encountered…."Frank paused dramatically.

"A princess?" Columbia ventured, she`d love the prince to have met a princess, a princess with short, red hair, who loved to tap dance.

"No, a strapping young peasant lad," Frank declared with obvious delight, " well, actually he was a lab assistant," he added as if to himself.

"Oh," Columbia just said.

Frank chuckled.

"And that very moment, the first time the prince laid eyes on that lad, a very strange and unfamiliar feeling came over him, one he`d never felt before and it hit him right here," Frank placed his hand over Columbia`s heart, " and also a little lower as well, " he added, his fingers brushing just lightly over the spot between her legs, making her giggle sleepily.

"Mmmm, you should have seen that lad, words could hardly do him justice. He had dreamy, blue eyes, the colour of the moon at midday and his hair was like golden silk, but oh best of all was _his body,_ bulging, rock- hard muscles, covered by smooth, caramel couloured skin, straight, broad shoulders and hips so invitingly narrow, it made you itch to wrap your legs around them. In short, he was the very epitome of arousing perfection."

"And looking at that perfection, the prince just knew that, for the very first time in his life, he actually was in lust. Not that regular kind of lust that he felt for…well, pretty much every visually not too abysmal person, but that kind of exceptional desire that makes you want to spend at least 70 percent of your nights with just this one, wonderful creature for the rest of your life. Yes that`s what it _had_ to be, there could be no other explanation for what he felt. And, because it _is_ a fairy tale and because the prince was so diabolically attractive, the peasant boy looked up at the him and when their gazes met, the prince knew that his feelings were returned with equal vehemence, as a matter of fact, the peasant boy had only wanted to work in the prince`s garden so he could be near him and could admire him from afar…oh that darling boy."

"Mrm," Columbia only said, already half asleep.

"And so, as destiny had apparently wanted it, they became lovers and their lives were as perfect as they are only in fairy tales," Frank continued dreamily, " they spent every waking or sleeping moment together, lying side by side in the moonlight on the slopes of the Hills of Ecstasy, making plans for their future, or dressing each other`s glorious bodies in the finest silk and leather, lacing each other`s corsets only to unlace them again or making love on a bed of lorleeya petals, falling asleep in each others arms afterwards, " Frank sighed deeply, " Goddess, they were _happy_."

"But I suppose, every fairy tale needs a villain and in the prince`s story that probably was his mother, the queen, you see although she loved her son and he her…in his way," Frank added rather sharply," she was not at all happy with his choice of companion, you see, _she_ wanted the prince to find a more _suitable _partner, one that he`d continue the royal bloodline with. Soooo the prince and the peasant boy decided to elope together, they planned their escape as swiftly as they could, not another day would they spend on their home planet. They decided they`d travel to the planet Transcendent, get married there and then leave the galaxy altogether for some small planet, far, far away, where no one would ever find them." Frank paused, thoughtfully chewing on his lower lip.

"Well, they _did _make it to Transcendent and they _did _almost manage to exchange their vows," he continued slowly," almost…they were standing in front of the altar already, when the queen`s men found them and…tore them from each other." Frank`s voice was now as bitter as bile and he remained silent for a while, running his fingers through the hair of the now sleeping Columbia.

"The prince was then taken back to his planet, while his beloved had to remain on Transcendent, as the queen had ordered it. The following months were the worst of his entire life for the prince…or so he thought then, " Frank smiled wistfully, "he spent every day and night crying in his chambers, heartbroken and lonely, longing for his lover. And then, one day, one of his servants told the prince that something terrible had happened, on the planet Transcendent, the prince`s lover, his beautiful blond angel, had drowned while bathing in the ocean." Frank paused to gaze into the surrounding gloom for a long time, his fingers again playing with a strand of Columbia`s soft hair.

"The prince never believed it, " he eventually continued in a whisper, " he never believed that it had been an accident, he _knew_ the queen must have had a hand in what had happened to his lover. He never talked to her again…never again, no matter how much she pleaded with him. And then, one morning…the prince was gone. He`d disappeared without a trace in the middle of the night, all he`d left was a letter to his mother, because as I said, in his way he _did_ love her, informing her that he`d decided to explore a small planet in a far away galaxy, a planet that was as blue as his beloved`s eyes had been and that hardly anyone from his home planet had ever set foot on then."

"You see, until then that particular planet had been considered simply too unimportant, too uncivilized and it had been quite difficult for the prince to find someone desperate or ambitious enough to accompany him there, and those two that in the end decided to go with him, well, they were definitely both," Frank said wryly.

"So the prince lived there on that blue planet, not happily but at least quite peacefully, even managing to establish a rather close and," Frank grinned to himself, " _friendly_ contact with the natives, but they just came and well, _came_ and went, until one fine day he happened to watch a movie…a movie in which a man created a creature in his, rather imperfect, image and to the prince it felt like an epiphany, he _knew _that very moment, he knew he could find a way to be with his lover again. He knew he _would_ find a way. Now his servants, would you believe it, thought he`d gone mad!" Frank giggled, sounding altogether not too sane himself, " but what did _they _know? How could _they_ have understood the workings of the mind of a genius?"

"Exactly, they couldn`t," Frank answered his question," well, so the prince of course ignored them and set to work building a machine not quite unlike that in the movie, only much better, with which he would be able to create his lost lover anew. Day and night he toiled, tirelessly and courageously, even when he was faced with failure after failure, determined that he would succeed, until at last one glorious night a happy accident finally let him see the light, and finally let him discover the last mystery that had been eluding him on his quest. Oh he was positively _delirious_ with joy, even the pixie, that had built her nest in one of the rooms of his mansion, trying to nick some magic candy from his lab, couldn`t ruin his mood, no the prince gave her some of his candy, put her to bed and even told her a bedtime story, "Frank grinned to himself, " what a lovely guy that prince was…, shame he had no idea how his story would end," he added somewhat wistfully. Propping himself up on his elbow, he gazed at the sleeping Columbia." I`m afraid you`re going to have to make up your own ending, " he whispered, " I think a happy ending would be nice, don´t you?"

He leaned in to press a kiss against Columbia`s cheek and silently rose from the bed.

"Good night, little pixie…sorry there could be no princess in my story…but if there _had_ been one…"

The door clicked softly into its lock behind him.

A.n. : Although I intended Frank`s bedtime story to be inspired by true events, it is still just that, a story.


End file.
